Mission: Restore my hair to it's former glory.

Anyone who knows me will tell you: I've got a resilient head of hair. For what I've put it through since high school, I really should be bald.



I've really been every hair color imaginable, black, blonde (not my look), red...highlights in crimson, and fuchsia. A majority of the time I do the damage myself, as no self respecting hairdresser would over-process my hair for me. Considering what I do to it myself (about 3-5 processes once you factor in color removal, bleach lightening, toning), PLUS professional correction (another 2 to 3 processes, usually ending with me as dark as where I started)...I come out virtually unscathed. A little dry, sometimes minus 2 or 3 inches, but all in all- in good condition. Way too good for what it's been through.

I think I was spoiled by this blessing of luck and good genes, almost arrogant, so I continued on at whim. But we all have a lesson to learn eventually, don't we?

Mine came last year, while working at a high end salon. My hair was in it's best state of my LIFE. Color, cut, style. My best guy friend regularly referred to my "glorious head of hair". People seriously stopped me on the street to compliment it.

But the siren call of discounted hair services was too strong. Access to top stylists for free or minimal cost? Just too much to resist.

It started with a free haircut, by amazing stylist Mikel Mafaro. Kept the length, but razored, thinned, edgy - very Chrissie Hynde. I loved it for about an hour. Five minutes later I was planning my next step. I wanted crimson highlights again, something I'd had years before and loved. The colorist talked me into copper panels.

My hair was ruined.

I then darkened the panels to raspberry, then eventually crimson. But by then, I was over it.

My birthday came around, and I did not want to be photographed with red panels in my hair, so we darkened it. Twice. It worked for the night, but the photographs later showed that it wasn't good enough.

Then came another cut, and this time, the length came off. I could barely stand it. Looking back, none of these styles were really THAT bad and I should have just left it alone.

But I didn't. And then I burned my hair off.

Yep, it finally happened - my luck ran out. I decided to take myself to red, like Marcia Cross (of Desperate Housewives fame). Surely the drastic color change would magically make me LOVE the cut...right?

So I color removed a few times (I was pretty dark) and dumped red on top of it. Still wasn't the color I wanted. So I did it a few more times, I think maybe 7 processes in a day. And I'll tell you what I didn't love: My hair MELTING off in front of my eyes.

[As if this wasn't horrible enough, this was the FIRST round, before I decided I wanted it lighter and bleached and died 50 more times, causing it to melt off. I've destroyed all photographic evidence of the really bad damage.]

I'm sure you can figure out the rest, so I'll spare you the little details... but I ended up with a mullet-y bob hybrid (extensions and a bandana were my best friends for about six months), and you guessed it, black hair. (I should note that I still hadn't leaned my lesson...my stylist was instructed to take me to the red I desired, despite my hair melting off, which she did, I hated, and subsequently went back the next day to cover it with dark brown... precisely what I started with, minus the damage).

Here I am over a year later, and I'm still only halfway to normal. I haven't touched the color since it was "fixed", so I'm still sporting the same dull brunette. My hair grew, as hair tends to do, and I recently just cut off the rest of the damage. (Painful, but it had to go. It's a process..sigh.) My hair is finally uniform in length, thick, healthy...and the a-line layers should grow out nicely. I'm not in love with it, but I'm learning to let it go.

I admit that I went back for two more cut tweaks after the initial cut, and chopped blunt bangs, which I now totally regret. In fact, I haven't worn them down since they day they were cut. But it's better than burning it off I guess. Baby Steps.

Why am is this on my mind now? Because the cycle is starting again, and maybe if i recognize and address it, I can avoid disaster. The past week has been rough. "Maybe I'll go red... dark red. No blonde! Sarah Jessica blonde!" I'm trying really hard to block those thoughts.I was actually scheduled to go blonde today (made an appointment on a whim, as usual)...but I regained my senses. Tomorrow, I go in for color...beginning the process back to when my hair looked it's best. It's a minor change, in comparison...this time I had the strength to say "Enough". At least for now.

I guess I did learn something after all, even if I haven't learned to leave it alone entirely. Wish me luck.

*Edit: back from the salon, the end result:



I'm extremely happy with it. Of course it's much shorter than I'd like, but the color is spot on. All that's left to do is leave it alone, and let it grow out. Sigh.