Bloggers at New York Fashion Week: You Suck. (And here's why...)

Ok... yes, I did get my start covering Fashion Week through my blog. And yes, I still have a blog. But I'm not talking about me (and to be fair, most of you are also exempt.) But a lot of you aren't, and here's why:

1. YOU DO NOT BELONG IN THE PIT WITH YOUR CAMERA PHONE: Or iPad, or flip cam. I mean seriously. Now, I'm not saying that you have no right to be there, a lot of bloggers these days moonlight as photographers and vice versa. But 85 % of you applying for Media passes don't deserve them, and while IMG might overlook this, seasoned photogs in the pit will not. If you're going to bullshit your way into the pit with the professionals, at least have the decency to invest in a professional camera and try. HOW DARE YOU PUSH YOUR WAY IN FRONT OF THE POST WITH YOUR GODDAMNED iPHONE? Or squeeze your overly styled head in front of my lens so you can snap a collection with your blackberry? FROM THE FRONT OF THE PIT. FOR REAL? Girl Bye. I may be too nice to shove the shit out of you, but one day Vogue Italia is going to knock you in that head with their heavy ass video equipment. And I'm going to laughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2. YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE CHOOSY...YET: Bloggers these days are so entitled. If a brand or PR firm is nice enough to extend an invitation to backstage or runway, either accept it and ATTEND, or politely decline. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING THEM TO WAIT SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT YOU GET INVITED TO? You might as well say "your brand isn't important enough, but if Maybelline doesn't call I guess I'll swing by". SERIOUSLY? Or accepting and then not showing up? Because HUGEbrand had a last minute editor cancellation and needed to fill the space? REMEMBER THIS: brandX may not be as exciting as HUGEbrand, but that's the relationship that will grow and spread to other opportunities. Cancelling on them because HUGEbrand emailed you 5 mins prior to call with space ensures they will not invite you again. And HUGEbrand will forget who the f*ck you are next season.

3. YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS: Dressing like a victim does not a style blogger make. Yeah, you might get asked for pics outside the tents....operative words being OUTSIDE OF THE TENTS. Ever notice that "famous" style bloggers rarely attend shows? Because they're too busy spending 17 hours planning the next outfit. And if they do attend, it's because their notoriety has garnered them a collab or relationship with a brand who's invited them. You won't be so lucky. So KNOCK IT OFF. Next time you actually get  invited to a show, look around at the tiers. Notice that the front row is dressed fashionably but classy. Well tailored, clean lines, not too much accoutrement. As the rows go higher you'll start to see the class wane until you reach standing room, who are usually wearing f*cking costumes at this point. And the photogs? Jeans and sneakers or fashionable flat shoes. GTFO OF THE PIT WITH YOUR LITAS AND FASCINATOR!!. And the editor from Mag/Blog/Site X checking out your awesome outfit? They're laughing at you.

4. YOU SEEM TO HAVE LOST YOUR DAMN MIND ONCE ENTERING THE TENTS: Do not gawk at celebs. Do not shove 18 free Arizona drinks into your bag. Do not accept every free item offered to you (Oh look, free rubber bands with hair still entangled around them!!) Seriously, do not. It's fun to see Rachel Zoe in the lobby. You might drop your free Blueberry White Tea at a Wintour sighting. I know, I've been there. BUT RELAX. You're a professional, right? RIGHT?! AND PLEASE DO NOT GO THROUGH THE PRESS BAG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LOBBY. Omg, shudder.


5. YOU DO NOT BELONG IN THE FRONT ROW: I'm not even going to touch this, I'm gonna let you have this one. Being screamed at by the person who's seat you've taken and having to hand back the gift bag in front of a zillion people will teach you as lesson far more excrutiating than anything I can say here. GOD SPEED.


You may think that your contributing to "the cause", but in reality you're the reason some brands still deny our requests. And with all of this tomfoolery, I DON'T BLAME THEM. I'd deny me too.

So, on behalf of professional bloggers and writers everywhere, THANKS ASSHOLE. Happy Fashion Week.