Saturday, September 17, 2011

Bloggers at New York Fashion Week: You Suck. (And here's why...)

Ok... yes, I did get my start covering Fashion Week through my blog. And yes, I still have a blog. But I'm not talking about me (and to be fair, most of you are also exempt.) But a lot of you aren't, and here's why:

1. YOU DO NOT BELONG IN THE PIT WITH YOUR CAMERA PHONE: Or iPad, or flip cam. I mean seriously. Now, I'm not saying that you have no right to be there, a lot of bloggers these days moonlight as photographers and vice versa. But 85 % of you applying for Media passes don't deserve them, and while IMG might overlook this, seasoned photogs in the pit will not. If you're going to bullshit your way into the pit with the professionals, at least have the decency to invest in a professional camera and try. HOW DARE YOU PUSH YOUR WAY IN FRONT OF THE POST WITH YOUR GODDAMNED iPHONE? Or squeeze your overly styled head in front of my lens so you can snap a collection with your blackberry? FROM THE FRONT OF THE PIT. FOR REAL? Girl Bye. I may be too nice to shove the shit out of you, but one day Vogue Italia is going to knock you in that head with their heavy ass video equipment. And I'm going to laughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2. YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE CHOOSY...YET: Bloggers these days are so entitled. If a brand or PR firm is nice enough to extend an invitation to backstage or runway, either accept it and ATTEND, or politely decline. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING THEM TO WAIT SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT YOU GET INVITED TO? You might as well say "your brand isn't important enough, but if Maybelline doesn't call I guess I'll swing by". SERIOUSLY? Or accepting and then not showing up? Because HUGEbrand had a last minute editor cancellation and needed to fill the space? REMEMBER THIS: brandX may not be as exciting as HUGEbrand, but that's the relationship that will grow and spread to other opportunities. Cancelling on them because HUGEbrand emailed you 5 mins prior to call with space ensures they will not invite you again. And HUGEbrand will forget who the f*ck you are next season.

3. YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS: Dressing like a victim does not a style blogger make. Yeah, you might get asked for pics outside the tents....operative words being OUTSIDE OF THE TENTS. Ever notice that "famous" style bloggers rarely attend shows? Because they're too busy spending 17 hours planning the next outfit. And if they do attend, it's because their notoriety has garnered them a collab or relationship with a brand who's invited them. You won't be so lucky. So KNOCK IT OFF. Next time you actually get  invited to a show, look around at the tiers. Notice that the front row is dressed fashionably but classy. Well tailored, clean lines, not too much accoutrement. As the rows go higher you'll start to see the class wane until you reach standing room, who are usually wearing f*cking costumes at this point. And the photogs? Jeans and sneakers or fashionable flat shoes. GTFO OF THE PIT WITH YOUR LITAS AND FASCINATOR!!. And the editor from Mag/Blog/Site X checking out your awesome outfit? They're laughing at you.

4. YOU SEEM TO HAVE LOST YOUR DAMN MIND ONCE ENTERING THE TENTS: Do not gawk at celebs. Do not shove 18 free Arizona drinks into your bag. Do not accept every free item offered to you (Oh look, free rubber bands with hair still entangled around them!!) Seriously, do not. It's fun to see Rachel Zoe in the lobby. You might drop your free Blueberry White Tea at a Wintour sighting. I know, I've been there. BUT RELAX. You're a professional, right? RIGHT?! AND PLEASE DO NOT GO THROUGH THE PRESS BAG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LOBBY. Omg, shudder.

5. YOU DO NOT BELONG IN THE FRONT ROW: I'm not even going to touch this, I'm gonna let you have this one. Being screamed at by the person who's seat you've taken and having to hand back the gift bag in front of a zillion people will teach you as lesson far more excrutiating than anything I can say here. GOD SPEED.

You may think that your contributing to "the cause", but in reality you're the reason some brands still deny our requests. And with all of this tomfoolery, I DON'T BLAME THEM. I'd deny me too.

So, on behalf of professional bloggers and writers everywhere, THANKS ASSHOLE. Happy Fashion Week.

London Fashion Week - Guide to Spring 2012 Livestreams

*All shows streaming HERE, unless otherwise noted. 

Friday September 16th

09:00 Paul Costelloe  (4 am EST)
11:00 Caroline Charles (6 am EST)
13:00 Bora Aksu (8 am EST)
15:00 Jean-Pierre Braganza (10 am EST)
17:00 Felder Felder (12 pm EST)
19:00 Ann-Sofie Back Atelje / BACK (2 pm EST)
20:30 PPQ (3:30 pm EST)

Saturday September 17th

09:00 Daks (4 am EST)
11:00 Ashish (6 am EST)
13:00 Jasper Conran (8 am EST)
15:00 Jaeger London (10 am EST)
17:00 John Rocha (12 pm EST)
20:00 Issa London (3 pm EST)

Sunday September 18th
14:00 Holly Fulton (9 am EST)
15:00 Topshop Unique (10 am EST)
16:00 Marios Schwab (11 am EST)

Monday September 19th

09:00 Peter Pilotto (4 am EST)
13:00 Michael van der Ham (8 am EST)
15:00 Mark Fast (10 am EST)
16:00 Burberry Prorsum (11 am EST)
17:30 Louise Gray (12:30 pm EST)
18:30 Todd Lynn (1:30 pm EST)

Tuesday September 20th

09:00 Mary Katrantzou (6 am EST)12:00 Osman (7 am EST)
14:00 Meadham Kirchhoff (9 am EST)
16:00 David Koma (11 am EST)
17:00 Danielle Scutt (12 pm EST)
18:30 Aminaka Wilmont (1:30 pm EST)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

New York Fashion Week - Guide to Spring 2012 Livestreams

Thursday, Sept. 8

Nicholas K 9 a.m. ET
Richard Chai 11 a.m. ET
Cushnie Et Ochs 12 p.m. ET
Supima 1 p.m. ET
Tadashi Shodji 2 p.m. ET
Kevork Kiledjian 5 p.m. ET

Friday, Sept. 9

Peter Som 10 a.m. ET
Luca Luca 11 a.m. ET
Jason Wu 1 p.m. ET
Rebecca Taylor 2 p.m. ET
Costello Tagliapietra 3 p.m. ET
Tommy Hilfiger Mens 5:30 p.m. ET
Nicole Miller 6 p.m. ET
Cynthia Rowley 7 p.m. ET
ELLE Fashion NEXT 7:30 p.m ET
Academy of Art University 8 p.m. ET

Saturday, Sept. 10
Lacoste 10 a.m. ET
Jill Stuart 11 a.m. ET
Helmut Lang 1 p.m. ET
Vivienne Tam 3 p.m. ET
Alexander Wang 5 p.m. ET
Charlotte Ronson 6 p.m. ET
Monique Lhuillier 7 p.m. ET
Suno 8 p.m. ET

Sunday, Sept. 11

Jeremy Laing 11 a.m. ET
Derek Lam 12 p.m. ET
DKNY 1 p.m. ET
Tracy Reese 2 p.m. ET
Edun 2 p.m. ET
Diane von Furstenberg 4 p.m. ET
Jen Kao 5 p.m. ET
Thakoon 6 p.m. ET
Simon Spurr 6 p.m. ET
Custo Barcelona 7 p.m. ET
Tommy Hilfiger 8 p.m. ET

Monday, Sept. 12

Carolina Herrera 10 a.m. ET
Carlos Miele 11 a.m. ET
Theyskens' Theory 12 p.m. ET
Rebecca Minkoff 1 p.m. ET
Ohne Titel 1 p.m. ET
Donna Karan 2 p.m. ET
Betsey Johnson 6 p.m. ET
Zero + Maria Cornejo 6 p.m. ET
Perry Ellis 7 p.m. ET
Marc by Marc Jacobs 7:30 p.m. ET

Tuesday, Sept. 13

Badgley Mischka 10 a.m. ET
Vera Wang 11 a.m. ET
Frank Tell 11 a.m. ET
Diesel Black Gold 1 p.m. ET
Herve Leger by Max Azria 2 p.m. ET
Sophie Theallet 5 p.m. ET
Oscar de la Renta 7 p.m. ET
Tibi 7 p.m. ET
Narcisco Rodriguez 8 p.m. ET

Wednesday, Sept. 14

Michael Kors 10 a.m. ET 
Nanette Lepore 11 a.m. ET
J. Mendel 1 p.m. ET
Jeremy Scott 1 p.m. ET
Milly by Michelle Smith 3 p.m. ET
Reed Krakoff 4 p.m. ET
Anna Sui 6 p.m. ET
Elie Tahari 7 p.m. ET
Wayne 7 p.m. ET
Proenza Schouler 8 p.m. ET

Thursday, Sept. 15

Ralph Lauren 10 a.m. ET
Calvin Klein Collection 2 p.m. ET
Naeem Khan 4 p.m. ET
Marc Jacobs Collection 8 p.m. ET